Real submissions...

Anyone who speaks to me on a semi-regular basis knows that I am in the middle of the apparently never-ending search for an office assistant / receptionist at my job. This is a process in which I have questioned how I went unemployed for so long. I never knew how completely clueless people are about cover letters and what not to say when applying and interviewing for a job...YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SELLING YOURSELVES PEOPLE!

I thought I'd share some of the real 'gems' I have received (The job is for an Admin Asst/Receptionist at a Real Estate Development company. Candidates were told that they wouldn't be considered without a cover letter):

"Please accept my resume for consideration for any other current or future available positions at Palisades Development Group. I believe that I'm overqualified for the Office Assistant position..."

".... I think that your projects are very interesting, and despite my work history I would be willing to take on some administrative tasks in order to work my way into such a progressive development company as..." (the posting is for an office assistant/receptionist, and was posted under admin on Craigslist.)

"Took Excel course but do not remember much of itSMALL OFFICE AND REAL ESTATE EXP." (That was his entire cover letter)

"HI! My name is ____ ____ [leaving out for Privacy], I live in Santa Monica and am looking for a reception job. I have excellent
phone-etiquette, am exceptionally organized and very much a people-person. Below is my short and sweet resume.

______ ____ [her name there]
TEL 310-_ _ _ -_ _ _ _

Experience
Legal secretary for 10 years in South Africa" (That is the entire resume)

"... In particular I have a very soothing deep basso voice with perfect pitch and I can handle any social situation, or defuse any volatile person. Though I might appear to be severely overqualified for this position..."

"If selected, I am sure that my current skills, having a great deal of interest towards my passion for people, management, customer service, hospitality experience, my extensive background in Office Administration, therefore, I am writing to express my enthusiasm for the position which allow me to effectively and efficiently perform the tasks that this position requires."

"I have the ability to switch from creative tasks to technical tasks without thinking."

"My name is ________ and I am interested in the JV Basketball Coach Position."

"Also, I would like to apply to the branch in Burbank. I am available for immediate consideration." (We only have a Santa Monica Location)

"My name is ________, 21 years old international student from Russia. I'm very interested in this position. I am experienced and educated person. Thank you for your time and waiting for your answer. I work only for cash."

"...I enclose my resume as first step in exploring the possibilities of employment as a Rental Billing Administrator Position."

"Here is a quick synopsis of my current situation. I moved to Los Angeles recently. I moved to Los Angeles after living in the Midwest most of my life...I don't have a job. I don't know anybody really..."

" ...I might be over qualified for the position but talking doesn't hurt. Any questions feel free to call..."

"...I am also multi-tasked and looking forward to utilizing my skills to provide customer service that exceeds the customer's expectations..."



More to come as the submissions roll in: