Monday, November 12, 2007

Totally Addicted...

Guitar Hero is the BEST GAME EVER!!!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Allie on Halloween

Allie is such a cute Cheerleader! She loves her Aunt Victoria!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Real submissions...

Anyone who speaks to me on a semi-regular basis knows that I am in the middle of the apparently never-ending search for an office assistant / receptionist at my job. This is a process in which I have questioned how I went unemployed for so long. I never knew how completely clueless people are about cover letters and what not to say when applying and interviewing for a job...YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SELLING YOURSELVES PEOPLE!

I thought I'd share some of the real 'gems' I have received (The job is for an Admin Asst/Receptionist at a Real Estate Development company. Candidates were told that they wouldn't be considered without a cover letter):

"Please accept my resume for consideration for any other current or future available positions at Palisades Development Group. I believe that I'm overqualified for the Office Assistant position..."

".... I think that your projects are very interesting, and despite my work history I would be willing to take on some administrative tasks in order to work my way into such a progressive development company as..." (the posting is for an office assistant/receptionist, and was posted under admin on Craigslist.)

"Took Excel course but do not remember much of itSMALL OFFICE AND REAL ESTATE EXP." (That was his entire cover letter)

"HI! My name is ____ ____ [leaving out for Privacy], I live in Santa Monica and am looking for a reception job. I have excellent
phone-etiquette, am exceptionally organized and very much a people-person. Below is my short and sweet resume.

______ ____ [her name there]
TEL 310-_ _ _ -_ _ _ _

Experience
Legal secretary for 10 years in South Africa" (That is the entire resume)

"... In particular I have a very soothing deep basso voice with perfect pitch and I can handle any social situation, or defuse any volatile person. Though I might appear to be severely overqualified for this position..."

"If selected, I am sure that my current skills, having a great deal of interest towards my passion for people, management, customer service, hospitality experience, my extensive background in Office Administration, therefore, I am writing to express my enthusiasm for the position which allow me to effectively and efficiently perform the tasks that this position requires."

"I have the ability to switch from creative tasks to technical tasks without thinking."

"My name is ________ and I am interested in the JV Basketball Coach Position."

"Also, I would like to apply to the branch in Burbank. I am available for immediate consideration." (We only have a Santa Monica Location)

"My name is ________, 21 years old international student from Russia. I'm very interested in this position. I am experienced and educated person. Thank you for your time and waiting for your answer. I work only for cash."

"...I enclose my resume as first step in exploring the possibilities of employment as a Rental Billing Administrator Position."

"Here is a quick synopsis of my current situation. I moved to Los Angeles recently. I moved to Los Angeles after living in the Midwest most of my life...I don't have a job. I don't know anybody really..."

" ...I might be over qualified for the position but talking doesn't hurt. Any questions feel free to call..."

"...I am also multi-tasked and looking forward to utilizing my skills to provide customer service that exceeds the customer's expectations..."



More to come as the submissions roll in:

Friday, August 03, 2007

Go fly a kite!

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few
seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth.
He tries this a few more times with no success.

All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering
to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail."

The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your
mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."

Friday, July 27, 2007

17 SUREFIRE WAYS TO ANNOY POTENTIAL EMPLOYERS

I have been interviewing potential employees for an open Office Assistant/Receptionist at our company. Who knew it'd be so hard! I found this today and had to post it!

Despite the President's encouraging words, the job market is still in sorry shape. There are more job seekers than job openings, so do NOT make things harder on yourself by doing any of the things on this list! Never, ever do these!

1. Apply for jobs you are not qualified for.

2. Send a generic cover letter that doesn't identify the position you're interested in, or match your qualifications to the job.

3. Put a useless, seen-it-a-million-times Objective on your resume that says you want a "challenging opportunity with a forward-looking company where I can utilize my knowledge, experience and skills to our mutual advantage."

4. Make your resume a list of past duties instead of accomplishments.

5. Lie, brag or exaggerate about ANYTHING.

6. Keep making repetitive "notice-me" calls to ask if your resume was received.

7. Fail to respond quickly to messages left on your answering machine or voicemail.

8. Expect them to schedule your phone-screening interview after normal business hours.

9. Refuse to give your salary requirements when requested prior to the interview.

10. Fail to research the company prior to the interview.

11. Arrive at the interview late.

12. Be rude to the receptionist.

13. Put "See attached resume" instead of filling out the application completely.

14. Be unprepared at the interview.

15. Ask "What's in it for ME?" type questions at the interview.

16. Fail to send a thank-you letter after the interview.

17. Call to ask about the status of the position days before when you were told they'd make a decision.
Don't annoy people who hold your future in their hands. Be cool and professional!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Nine words from women that men should know...

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a 1/2 hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F**K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

A little presidential humor...

Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having breakfast at the White House. The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies, "I would like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit."

"And what can I get for you, Mr. President?"

George W. looking up from his menu replies with his trademark wink and slight grin, "How about a quickie this morning?"

"Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims "How rude! You are starting to act like Mr. Clinton, and you have only been in your second term of office for a year!"

As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers, "It's pronounced 'quiche'.

Monday, May 07, 2007

RIP Cecilia....

Cecilia the Celica.
May 1991 - May 6, 2007




You were a good and reliable friend and I will miss you.

(Note: Pics are not of actual Cecilia, but are a substitute until I can locate actuals)

Sunday, April 29, 2007

WIT AND WISDOM OF LARRY THE CABLE GUY

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Allie at the Park





I could watch this over and over again!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Birthday....Special? or just another day?

Number birthday today is: 28

Hours spent giving deposition: 3

Phone calls pertaining to resume's I sent out last week/phone interviews: 3

Actual in-person interviews - scheduled very last minute: 1

Amount of errands on my list I got done besides that: 0

Cake? Not that I know of.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Quote by Dave Barry...

"I've never been into wine. I'm a beer man. What I like about beer is you basically just drink it and order more. You don't sniff at it, or hold it up to the light and slosh it around, or drone on and on about it, the way people do with wine. Your beer drinker tend to be a straightforward, decent, friendly, down-to-earth person, whereas your serious wine fancier tends to be an insufferable snot."

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Funny forward I received today...

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Monday, March 05, 2007

How to match job applicants to appropriate positions...

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates into the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after an hour. Then analyze the situation:

1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounting department.

2. If they are recounting them, put them in auditing.

3. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engineering.

4. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in planning.

5. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in operations.

6 If they are sleeping, put them in security.

7. If they have broken the bricks into pieces that no longer resemble bricks, put them in information technology.

8. If they are working hard to keep each other from getting any real work done, put them in human resources.

9. If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in sales.

10. If they have already left for the day, make them the union shop stewards.

11. If they are staring blankly out of the window, put them in strategic planning.

12. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in top management.

13. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that the candidates can neither see out or hear the cries of others , put them in Congress.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I LOVE NEW YORK!!!

And Mom and Dad for once again sending me!! I have cashed in on both V-days Early (Valentines AND My birthday) to find a flight and go to NY for 5 days for only $229 (with all taxes! That is like UNHEARD OF since 9/11)

I get to spend 5 whole days hogging my beautiful niece

I am GIDDY with excitement.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Its that Time again....


PUPPYBOWL!!!

It was hard to find animal planet...they moved the channel - but THANKFULLY I still get it.

Also - the puppybowl is NOT running all day today as it usually does. So tune in from 3-6pm. I am DVR-ing it so I can enjoy it later


Saturday, February 03, 2007

Singing, Singing and More singing

Great show last night - CONJOB's return to the OC. Fun crowd, fun set, fun night.

And to top it all off...Gas Light - HERE I COME...what better way to spend a Saturday Night then to go Karaoke.

On that note - anyone bothering to read this probably has some time on their hands - So please click on the below link to help CONJOB win a trip to play at South By SouthWest in March. You have to register and crap, then search for CONJOB, visit our profile, play our music and click "Become a Fan"...when you become a fan we get some serious points.

CONJOB

Sweet....wonder what I should sing tonight....

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Bananas

So my sister thinks I am going Bananas. Perhaps…
It doesn’t help that the weather here in Southern California SUCKS! The last few weeks have been COLD, windy, overcast or rainy, etc for all except a few random days.

So I am a little cooped up…Whatever. Here are some lovely statistics that might give you an insight to my insanity.

Number of days since I (voluntarily) left my job, without considering that the end of the year might not be a good time to look for a new job: 102

Number of jobs I have applied to: 1,020 (rough estimate, assuming I applied to 10 jobs a day for 102 days. I could count since I have them all printed in my job hunt binder, but that would take too much effort)

Number of interviews I have had in this time: 13

Number of offers said interviews have yielded: 0 (including Starbucks, who emailed a rejection letter to me apparently when I was walking out of the store, so that it was waiting for me when I got home from the interview. I hadn’t even finished my coffee.)

Number of Temp jobs (in days) my 3 different temp agencies have managed to send me on: 7

Number of days I have been away from Southern California: 22

Number of days I have been cooped up in my apartment (Number calculated by subtracting days away, temping and interviewing from total days since I left my job): 60

Number of Days since I quit smoking: 73 (Yeah me!)

Number of Cigarettes I have had in that time: 0 (YEAH ME! No cheating!)

Number of colds I have gotten since I quit smoking: 2 (both in NY, Thanksgiving & Christmas)

Number of days it has SNOWED in Southern California/LA in this time: 1

Current scheduled interviews: 0
Current scheduled temp jobs: 0
Current scheduled trips: 0
Current number of social engagements whatsoever: 2 (shows with CONJOB)

Number of times this post was deleted before I got it published: 2

Outlook is bleak my friends…bleak…

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Allie Walkin

This is one of the 2 videos I got yesterday of my little niece. I love the face that she is making when the video starts. Its just WAY too cute.
She got her ears pierced yesterday. So Cute!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Spiders On Drugs - Very Funny

Effects of spiders on drugs. Share Internet Videos With Your Friends And Make money. Details @http://www.thevideosense.com/user/vids/

Is this LA???

Snow Dusts Malibu, Closes I-5: Is This L.A.?
Daisy Nguyen, The Associated Press January 18, 2007, 5:38 AM PST
A cold storm dusted parts of Southern California with snow, snarling traffic and closing highways, but delighting many residents who raced outside to quickly snap pictures or pack together snowballs before the unusual sighting melted away.
The fast-moving storm that dropped snow in the mountains above Malibu and left streets and lawns in Venice, Westwood and elsewhere covered with ice from hail on Wednesday was the latest blast from a cold snap that has kept California in an icy grip for a week.
The forecast for Thursday called for continued chilly temperatures, with lows in the 30s and 40s.The National Weather Service said the rare wintry precipitation was from an upper-level low moving through the region. Snow levels plunged well below 1,000 feet.
The dusting was an unusual sight for motorists on Kanan Dume Road in the Santa Monica Mountains where it's more typical to see beach-bound cars loaded with surfboards than a snowplow. It's been at least 18 years since some parts of the area recorded any snow.
Architect Doug Rucker was at his home studio located on a mountain ridge at about 1,700 feet near Kanan Dume Road in Malibu. He said snow was "bouncing like popcorn off my lawns.""I went out to take pictures of the snow coming down and after it landed ... It is kind of unusual," he said.
Jen Naylor, a Los Angeles native, rushed to her sister's house in Westwood, where the white stuff briefly accumulated in the backyard.Forecasters say that area was more likely blanketed with irregularly shaped hailstones called graupel that can be confused with snowflakes, but that didn't diminish Naylor's enthusiasm."This was the first time I made a snowman in L.A.," Naylor told the Los Angeles Times. "We used dried cranberry for the eyes and a baby carrot for the nose because it was a baby snowman."...

ummmmmmmmmmmmmm....It hasn't even snowed in NYC yet!